Hindsight

Author | Sophia Shedore

Blindsided I was stunned
You pulled me close
Smooth caress, Grasp tightened
Hot breath mingling, twinged with alcohol overdose

Close friends, my best friend’s ex boyfriend
No one saw this coming
You and I were never meant to be
Yet just this night nothing can get between

The two of us, bodies in a rush
The inkjet darkness of night blurring lines, becoming one
After a tipsy giggle you whispered “hush”
Just seven hours later our pseudo intimacy became undone

Washed away like the crumbs I washed down the drain
Hopelessly trying to scrub away the shame I realized
As I tried to catch your eye
you looked on, looking everywhere but at me

We denied the possibility of future regret
Denied the reality we should have faced
Denying my morals I was abject
I denied myself any shred of love, feeling disgraced

I drunkenly came on to you
I am to blame for not respecting myself
Caving in to your carnal desires
I thought you wanted me
But you just wanted my body

Now sitting across from you
I have to keep silent
Not mentioning the lies you told me
In those 7 hours before you fell quiet

It’s all I can do
to keep from screaming at you
Pleading, wondering if I ever mattered

Or was it just a mistake

Were we just plastered
Blind with loneliness, foolish with heartache

It’s all I can do
to keep from screaming at you


About the Author | Sophia Shedore is an exploratory writer trying to find her voice.